February 19th, 2008
Skinny Jeans/Tight Pants:
When is the madness going to stop? Don’t hipster dudes care about their indie balls? Hipster Indie Balls everywhere must long for the day that they can breathe and hang freely away from the sweaty swamp that is the male pelvic region. I honestly think it’s up to girls to end this bullshit. I mean, there’s nothing I can personally do to stop it. I don’t even look at dudes with tight pants and I’ve got a dude so HIB are off limits. But, there are plenty of you single bitches out there who are enabling this fucking look. So, I’m talking to you hipster indie bitches — STOP YOUR MAN FROM LEAVING THE HOUSE WITH HIS H.I.Bs wrapped up tighter than Star Jones’ post-op loose belly skin in three pairs of Spanx. Be apart of the solution, not the problem.
Over Abbreviate-ers: I know we are all sooo busy these days but what gives with all the abbreviation? I’m all for being efficient and saving time but, come on. Does omitting vowels or shortening already short words really save that much time? My homegirl and I were talking about how there are so, so many abbreviations being used these days. Some of our business emails are starting to read like terrible text messages. If one more person emails me with the following words included I’m going to fucking scream.
“totes”
“obvs”
“f’rls”
“u kno”
“srsly”
“tru”
“biz”
“whateves”
“lolz”
This asshole is so fucking lucky I don’t have a car anymore. Who the fuck parks like this? This prick is taking up a perfectly good all day un-metered parking space in an area with like zero parking with his fucking pussy wanna be Vespa. As I was taking this picture a car stopped and asked if I was leaving. I explained that it wasn’t mine and I was just documenting the asshole parking job. I even offered to help move the fucking thing so he could park there but dude just laughed and said he didn’t need to park that bad. What a pussy. I’m telling you if I still had a car, I would have moved that fucking toy scooter onto the sidewalk and parked in his spot just to prove a point. I bet you that asshole wears skinny jeans too, them jeans is cuttin’ off blood flow to the HIBs and his fucking brain.
