Tara Reid is 35!
I’ve been celebrating one of God’s most special creations for the last few weeks.* Here are a few of my favorite Tara posts from the Hater Tuesday archives.
Tara and Rodman sittin’ in a tree… – August 2010
Skeletor is a shitty bikini model – December 2007
Total Eclipse of the Fart – February 2007
Spongetara Square Tits – July 2005
*Stoner Blogger’s Note: Duuuude. I thought I lost this post two weeks ago. Turns out I’m just a retard. I just never posted it. It was totally saved as a draft. Pfffvvvvt. Anyhooze, Tara celebrated her special day (11.08) on St. Barth’s with a small gathering of friends including her left nipple – that guy always gets so excited at parties.
I Paid For HD!
What the fuck is wrong with you DirectTV? Why the fuck can’t I get AMC in HD? I should be enjoying high definition zombie chopping on The Walking Dead every Sunday. I’ve been looking forward to this series for hella long and now I have to PAY EXTRA aaaaand wait until Monday to watch it when my iTunes Season Pass drops the HD on me? Balls.
You have until Mad Men starts to get your shit together. I’m trying to spend future Sundays with 46″ of Don Draper HD all up in my living room. Seen?
A friend of mine recently told me a groaner of a joke. Here’s a transcript:
Him: “How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? ”
Me: “Hmmm, I’m gonna say 3. One to photograph it shittily with a jailbroken iPhone, one to blog/check-in/tweet/status update about it and one to point out the “epic” irony while wearing one of those three wolves crewnecks?”
Him: “Hahahahahaha, wow that’s actually way funnier than the punchline. Have you heard this joke before?”
Me: “I don’t think so…I think I just made that up. Who knows. Well? What’s your fucking punchline?”
Him: (proudly indifferent) “Oh it’s a really obscure number I don’t think you’ve heard of it”
Me: eye roll**grooooooooooooooan* “Yeah. Mine’s better.”
Some Unsolicited Advice
It’s getting cold again people. We’re finally havin’ a wintah. I’m getting prepared and so should you. I bought a new coat and some walkin’ around pork. Whaddayamean what the hell is “walkin’ around pork”? Sheesh, you really DO have some preparing to do.
Fuck You Christmas Music! Stop raping my earholes.