I know this is like a week old but I still can’t stop laughing.
Lada Gaga can’t walk or dress for shit.
I’m sure someone has already animated this into a fucking awesome Gif….but that would require more Googling and frankly, I don’t have the time for that shit.
R.Kelly proves once again that he’s the mutherfucking KINGPIN of R&B.
This man can write records like Pregnant, Sex Planet*, The Zoo*, Trapped In The Closet Pts 1-12** , In The Kitchen and STILL get asked to write the World Cup anthem. I’ve been saying it since time began and made it into a shirt in 2006…and finally got to show him that shit in person in 2009. Mutherfuckers are finally listening (Thanks Aziz!)
R. Kelly Is Magic!!
I mean who else twitters Weird Al shit like this.
*These songs are on the same album btw….
**THERE ARE 15 MORE CHAPTERS OF TRAPPED IN THE CLOSET PEOPLE!! DON’T MAKE ME START AN ONLINE PETITION!
Unborn Baby Tweets: I thought expectant mother blogs were annoying. Evidently people are now tweeting for their unborn babies. Lance Armstrong’s wife is tweeting for unborn. Fucking creepy. So if you give a shit about what fruit is most comparable to the size of this Lance’s zygote peep it.
And now for the list — a peek into my mind….random shit I’ve scribbled to myself in my notebook:
- I roofied myself once
- “Don’t let the batch sit too long”
- I don’t like doing yoga. My body doesn’t bend that way. Don’t tell me to try Bikram….that shit smells like octopus farts and hippy sweat
- Puking makes you feel human again
- “Look at this fucking caucophany of rap nerds”
- A woman stopped me on Haight St last week and asked me for my shirt…
“Um, I’m sorta busy wearing it right now,” I said.
“BUT I CAN’T WEAR THIS BLUE….THIS IS A LESBIAN COLOR!!” she said outraged as she started ripping it off exposing her droopy dirty heroin tits.
- Here is a sampling of corporate metaphors I’ve overheard at work in the last two weeks:
- We need to explore how to build a better mousetrap.
- Let’s focus on harvesting the low hanging fruit
- Lets not throw the baby out with the bathwater
- We need to develop a strategy to really grow the pie
- Our goal is to drive the cattle across the river
- The train has left the station…
- We’re not out of the woods yet
- We can lead a horse to water, but we need to make sure he drinks….and keeps drinking.
- Let’s get down to brass tacks