Archive for February, 2010

Ladies and Gentlepersons, It’s Mutherfucking Hater Tuesday

Paris: Everyone says Paris is sooooo beautiful. It’s actually a country full of chain smoking uppity assholes who drive like maniacs and listen to a lot of shitty house music. The cheese is great and there are some fantastic desserts but that’s about it.

Ambien Dreams : I’m an insomniac so I gets with the Ambien from time to time. Most of the time it’s pretty awesome. Sometimes though shit gets a little weird. I have crazy ass dreams, super animated, bizarre shit with retarded dialog. At least I’m not sleep eating or sleep fucking which are evidently actual side effects people experience.

Shake Weight: Have you seen this commercial? Scientific research shows that giving hand jobs (err, Dynamic Inertia) increases muscle definition in one’s arms. If you don’t have time to jerk off a real person you can use this contraption to “shake” away the excess fat hanging from your biceps. If I had more free time, I’d spend it overlaying Beavis & Butthead audio over this video. Uh huh, huh, uh, huh, uh, huh, huh, huh.

This sign is just one of the reasons why I love living in the Upper Haight (so long SOMA!). I remember when you had to use the word “Water Pipe” when you went into a head shop. Weed culture is so prevalent these days you can walk into a head shop, buy a discount bong, tell them its “for here” and then start shoving weed into it immediately. God Bless America!

I didn’t think it was possible for a video to be gayer than this. I stand corrected.


I’ll leave you with a palate cleanser …..

Listen to RAAAAAAAANDY’s brilliant new track entitled AAAAAAAANGRY!

Ladies & Gentlemen, It’s Mutherfuggin’ Hater Tuesday

You know what you see a lot of when you commute with nerds?

Yep, Nerd Shoes…

WTFlip Flops: First thing first, this bitch has figured out how to SIT pigeon-toed. Let’s just stop a moment and appreciate that. Now the shoes, I don’t know what the fuck is going on here. It’s part gladiator, part hippy toe sandal. Those bands across the top of the foot and the top of the toe are metal. M-E-T-A-L. Ugliest shoes ever. The only acceptable excuse for wearing these shoes is: “I took bong hits and went to TJ Max..they were on sale….Oh, and I lost all my other shoes.”

Aren’t those for the Ocean?: The unfortunate part is that I’ve actually seen about a half dozen different individuals wearing these very shoes. These fuckers creep me out.

**Bonus Flip Flops IN DECEMBER!: Some people have just got something to prove.

Vegan Shoes: I fucking hate Tom’s shoes almost as much as I hate preachy vegans. Turns out I hate them even more when paired with camouflage cargo shorts.

Bare Feet: Seriously THE WORST decision ever. Never OK for a commute. Especially on the company provided commuter shuttle before 8am.

Crazy Slippers: I wonder if these are like THE pair of slippers or if they are part of a larger collection of crazy slippers?

Did We Ever Talk About This?

You don’t see too much old fashioned public slander anymore so I had to stop, take a picture and do my part by posting it on the internet. I give the creator of this flyer an A+ for photo selection (you know those are straight from a profile) but I wish he had chosen a different font. I know he wants this to read vengeful and retaliatory but that font just says bitchy and bitter.

Hmm, If We Didn’t Talk About That, Then We Couldn’t Have Talked About This…

If one more person tells me how AMAZING Lady GaGa is I’m going to fucking scream. This dude talked my ear off for 18 fucking blocks about her “commitment to art” and “revolutionary approach to mainstream pop.”