Hater Tuesday

Definitely, Maybe?: Definitely, Not. Ryan Reynolds, why are you in a Hugh Grant movie? Was he busy? Do you want to end up like John Cusack? You saw what happened to his career after he did that piece of crap America’s Sweethearts right? How did you get talked into this garbage? There has GOT TO BE other work out there for you. Is it the money? Did you blow all your personal savings in anticipation of all that Jagged Little Pill money? (Sorry that didn’t work out, I hear you’re banging ScarJo though so good job on that upgrade) Although, Alanis doesn’t strike me as the kind of gal that would pass out ATM cards. You, you, you outta know’d that was the case and made some better investments. Whatever the reason, let’s make this the last one of these. I’d like to see you in more shit like Blade Trinity. Remember this? Man, that was awesome. Amityville Horror was rad too. Even when you were shirtless you were still terrifying. And I’m not even all that into the ripped abs thing. OK well maybe a little. I understand you might be trying to “break-in” to a new audience but seriously bro, this chick flick bullshit is NOT a good look. If you want to win over the ladies, keep being a bad ass and taking off your shirt. That shit totally works with us.

Rihanna with Morris Day & The Time:

OK first things first — I call bullshit on the whole “first performance in 15 years” overdub. I saw Morris Day and The Time (the original members, including Jerome who hands Morris Day his comb and holds up his mirror) 3 years ago at my mom’s union convention here in SF. In case you didn’t know unions throw the best parties, especially SEIU. Those health care workers know how to fucking party. The video is right here if you don’t believe me (of The Time, not of the partying.)

Secondly, who the fuck decided to use Morris Day as a fucking intro? For Rihanna. I fucking love Morris Day and The Time. I was so pumped to see them rocking the Grammy’s. Then all of the sudden Morris Day disappears and here comes Rihanna singing that fucking song that makes my ears bleed. WTF? That’s not fair. You can’t tease me with the slickness that is The Time and then assualt my ears and eyes with that Alien Princess. There should be laws against that.

Player of the Week:

Partnership For A Drug-Free America: Pffft. Dude. Those “creatives” at the ad agency totally smoke weed man. Think about it….WEED COCOON! Best commercial evar. What if weed really worked like that, forming a physically restrictive cocoon over time? It would be totally worth it if the weed was still smokable after you emerged from it. A magicial replenishing weed source is like the stoner dream. Partnership For Drug Free-America always come through with the funny ass campaigns. That one with the kids hotboxing the car in the drive-thru is fucking classic. I don’t know if it’s bad or good that every time I see them I laugh my ass off and feel a little bit of pride for being a responsible stoner.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 13th, 2008 at 2:47 pm and is filed under Hater Tuesday. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.