Hater Tuesday

My predilection for schadenfreude has led me to believe that I’ll most definitely be spending my eternal afterlife toiling in the bowels of the earth amongst the burning flames, molten lava and the split-hoofed beasties. I’ve resigned myself to accepting this, holding on to the dream that there is an “awesome” part of hell where hedonism reigns supreme. I’ve always thought I would remain there with all the good drugs and cool people like me who ended up in Hell on some bullshit technicality, no thanks to Jesus and his whole “WWJD” mantra…. but then I experienced this:

I am now convinced that this is what Hell really going to be like. Lasers, strobe lights, non-stop ear-splitting siren sounds will be the only stimulation. Silence will not exist. Sweaty, dead-eyed, furry-pant wearing, glow stick spinning trolls will encircle me shouting “ISN’T THIS AWWEEEEESOME!” and “PLUR” and “Oh! Oh! Oh! The good part is coming up!” as I rock back and forth slowly, closing and opening my eyes wishing that I was in Heaven. Frightening right? I know.

So, thank you Chemical Brothers for showing me that I need to be a better person, if for no other reason than to avoid eternal damnation in the Rave that is Hell.

Folsom Street Fair:

Here’s the thing. I’m all for freedom of speech and expression but at some point a line must be drawn. For me, that line is drawn at 65 year-old dude wandering the streets wearing nothing but a series of chains connected directly to his 65 year-old dick being publicly whipped by another 65 year-old dude wearing nothing but a leather studded thong and a candy apple red leather bolero jacket. To get up close and personal click here and here

Rave Fashion: I’ve said a lot of bad things about hip hop street wear in the past year but after seeing shit like this at the Chemical Brothers, Ive decided to lay off street wear for a while. In the first photo there are two dudes both with light up clothing. Dude holding a beer is wearing a shirt that flashes on and off and changes color to the beat. Dude in mid-hippyshake/foot-shuffle is wearing pants that with a light up racing stripe along his warm-up pants. Sadly, these were not the only guys with light up clothing.

The second photo features a “look” I’ve always been confused by. I mean I get it from the knees up. It’s standard ho wear with a nod to Micheal Jackson. What confuses me is the shoes, er boots, er whatever those are. I mean, she’s obviously going for a “sexy” vibe — but who told her that making your feet look like a teddy bear is sexy. I don’t know anyone who wants to fuck a girl with teddy bear feet. Do you? I blame Extacy.

Player of the Week

Folsom St. Fair Photographers: It takes a strong person to point a camera, focus and actually click a high res pic of two naked elderlies. That woman in the blue up there is really going in for the gold. I could not bring myself to photograph the front view. I had the ultimate displeasure of seeing Grandpa there in a prior scenario — He had himself chained (via his dick and only his dick) to a street sign pole outside the Powerhouse. I really, really wanted to take a picture, but I couldn’t bring myself to aim my camera and press the button. Each time I tried, my hands shook, my throat got that “im gonna puke” feeling and I’d turn away. So kudos to these players, you are stronger than I am.

My Brother:
Also, i’ve been listening to Kanye Wests latest album, and i’m digging it. I dunno if thats good or bad for you, but i’m putting it out there. I had to get that off my chest.

My brother emailed me these three sentences this morning. My brother doesn’t even like music, let alone hip-hop. I’m shocked. I’m troubled. Most of all, I’m now certain the sky will be opening up and it will start raining blood in no less than 3 days. Also, I’m pretty sure this means Kanye officially kicked 50’s ass.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 2nd, 2007 at 11:11 am and is filed under Hater Tuesday. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.