Hater Tuesday

People Surprised by This:
seriously people you think all that slurring was a result of good old fashioned southern hillbilly yokel breeding? sure i’d love to think so too, but let’s be real. you can’t get that slack jawed without the help of good old fashioned drugs. methadone is a interesting choice but not all that surprising considering that anna’s famous and any famous person with an affinity for recreational intoxicants knows that the one of the first perks you start working is the “hollywood pharmacist” so you can get the good shit. fuck street drugs. street drugs are for poor people. why you think we have so many fucking crack heads and heroin addicts? nevermind what 20/20 says about “street value” trust me when i say drugs is cheap. drugs is a business, you got to make that shit available to the people at an affordable rate otherwise you won’t have customers. in order to make a little profit sometimes quality is compromised. Drug dealers have profit and loss margins, they have overhead costs they need to cover. I think Jeezy explained it best when he said, “Jeezy like to drink, Jeezy like to smoke, Jeezy like to mix arm & hammer with his coke” You see in order for Jeezy to drink and smoke how he wants he’s got to mix in a little filler in with that snow…it’s trap game son. anyhoo back to anna, im not surprised to say the least that they found mad injectable drugs and a bunch of slim fast/TrimSpa - what were they expecting to find in there organic flax seed oil and some omega-3s? on a slightly related side note “ANNA’S DEATH FRIDGE” is a pretty fucking awesome headline and potential band name.

People Who Are Not Watching The (white) Rapper Show: If you are not watching, or don’t like it or think it’s wrong you are a retard. This is the best shit on TV right now. It fills me with so much joy each week I almost forget that I have to hate on Tuesdays. Last night had a hate theme. Needless to say it was the best episode yet. John Brown came with the cherry one liners and Jus Rhyme had me wincing and embarrassed like every 10 seconds. I spent like 45 minutes last night watching the shit on VH1 Vspot because Im so gay for this show. Im pissed that the “ringtones” aren’t Verizon compatable otherwise my phone would be ringing with John Brown’s Soak Up The Love right now. Don’t make me create my own “Hallelujah Hollaback” ringtone…cause I will.

The Internet:
It may seem ironic for me a blogger to be hating on the internet — but it’s not. I guess I should be focusing my hate more specifically on the world of e-jargon and technology that I don’t understand and continually fucks my couch. It’s important that you realize my understanding of how the “internet” works is not good. Sure I have a “website” but I can barely post on this thing let alone configure systems or organize data or anything that can’t be generated using fancy tools like the button on wordpress that makes everything all bold or all italics or all linky. I know like 3 basic lines of html — I learned them from livejournal cheat guides. You’d be hard pressed to tell me and make me believe that there the internet is NOT magic, because in my world it is. You type on this box and then press go and then it happens. Just like magic. I’m still convinced the crumbs that fall off my bagel into my keyboard keep the e-trolls at bay and therefore protect my web kingdom. Someone told me that the crumbs dont help and in fact they may be the reason why my last keyboard kept typing like thisssssssssssssssssssssss when I got to words with the letter “s.” It was suggested by this same person that I get a can of “spray air” — I laughed it off. I mean, come on, “spray air” that’s like saying “cans of water.” Losers. I broke down and got a new keyboard (crumb free!) recently and since then it’s been e-hassle after e-hassle. Which proves my point, crumbs keep the e-trolls away. Now the e-trolls are hungry people…and they are eating my e-assets alive. There are not enough bagels at the donut shop to keep them at bay.

Grammys:
I didn’t even watch this year because I didn’t give a fuck. I took a look at the winners list and went “hmm whatever” until I got to the metal section then I got bummed. Real bummed. Mastadon was robbed. Slayer won. That might sound crazy since I’m a huge Slayer fan but honestly that album they won for is sorta jank. I mean sure it’s Slayer but it’s sorta phoned in. That Mastadon album is fucking goooooooooooooood. Those dudes are amazing - as is Lamb of God. I’d be lest pissed if they won over Mastadon.

Player of the Week : Trends “The Rapper” from “I Love New York”

New York - Lord knows I been hard on this bitch but last night she kicked the phrase, “Im really feeeeeeling the FUCK out of this Nerd!” in reference to cracker-ass Boston. I fell out laughing and had a moment of love for her. I was looking online to see if I could find a clip, but no love. I did come across this though which made me laugh. This fool Trendz got the boot cause he was slanging mix tape game on the show. This is his “diss” track that he’s posted to YouTube. You know to get back at NY for calling him a “burnt, crispy, twizzler” on TV. My favorite part is at the end when, he calls himself “Trends The Rapper” just in case we all misunderstood and maybe just thought he was an entity.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 13th, 2007 at 3:39 pm and is filed under Hater Tuesday. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.