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Critical Mass: One less car. If I see that sticker one more time this week I am going to scream. I saw a sticker not too long ago that read “One less bike.” and it ruled. I tried to take a picture but it was too dark. Okay so it wasn’t dark, I was just drunk and operating my camera phone seemed a bit more complicated than usual. Shit kept coming out blurry even though neither I or the car was moving. Okay, so maybe I was swaying a little bit. I was drunk. Shit. You try and stand still after about 4 Choppers* What was I talking about again? Oh yeah, Critical Mass. I thought it was just hippy ass SF that enables and endorses this kind of bullshit but evidently it’s an “unorganized coincidence” a global movement. The jist is a bunch of bike fags get on thier fucking “fixies” and then fuck up everyone’s couch by riding en masse through the city of San Francisco at rush hour. They block entire intersections with shit loads of bike riders forcing traffic to stop as they continue forth with thier righteous display of non-driving. They dress up hella lame a la Burning Man and decorate their bikes and shit too. It’s basically an exuse to wear a pink thong and blast “Eye Of The Tiger” on the radio fueled by potatoes and magic crystals they grew next on thier window sills. It happens a few times a year and always goes past my office. This year I took it to the streets - took pics and yelled “GET A CAR HIPPIES” which is funny because I don’t even have a car or want one. In fact, I am not against riding bikes or saving the environment I just hate dumb righteous assholes. For the record, every fucking fixed gear head I’ve met thinks they are the fucking shit because they don’t have breaks and they ride a bike in the city. Oh also when I’m dead ass tired on a Friday night, trying to get to Serrano’s for a slice — I do NOT like to be delayed.
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Once again Thug E. Fresh proves he is the boss of all bosses on the internet grind with this little gem here. It is NOT safe for work so be careful. It’s hard out here for a pimp. The internet is the new street and this young entrepenuer is not going to get left behind. He is jumping on the digital pimp game. He’s looking for “some real money makers.” He wants you to know he “shines like diamonds” and invites you to “shine with him” Bottom line is “if you like dick and you like money” you should hit him. If that’s not convincing I don’t know what is.
*Jameson over rocks in a bucket glass with a Budwiser back. Learn it. Love it.
August 29th, 2006 at 4:10 pm
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August 29th, 2006 at 7:27 pm
um- is that a bald head ho?
and i think you may have covered this before, but why the fuck do these people not have brakes on their bikes?? i don’t get it.
August 30th, 2006 at 6:33 am
Ah crap, I was too late to see Thug E’s craigslist post… he have it mirrored anywhere (being a digital pimp and all)?
August 30th, 2006 at 6:50 am
Funkybitch- Delete & block Booty Doo. We don’t need none of that lame ass first, 2nd bullshit around here. You are so much better than that!
Booty doo- Go back to kindergarden where you belong. This site dont’ roll with lame asses like yourself.
August 30th, 2006 at 8:13 am
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August 30th, 2006 at 8:16 am
*Jameson over rocks in a bucket glass with a Budwiser back. Learn it. Love it.
You got to be kidding me? Step out of the ghetto and order a scotch. not that blended Dewer’s shit, a single malt. beers are for sporting events, house parties, bar-b-ques, and college. Budweiser is used in china to drown kittens. Are you a kitty killer?
August 30th, 2006 at 8:34 am
andrea for the record booty doo is a hater at large and his “2nd!” post was totally ironic. i think spuniun may have deleted it but trust me Booty Doo is never to be deleted his words are magic. but thanks for keeping it real andrea!!!
spun - did the post get pulled? damn! i knew i should have captured the text. it was great.
cock - scotch tastes like old leather shoes and moth ball ridden jackets. i cant get down with the Oak finish man. i like the smooth delivery that Jameson provides and Budwiser - yes please. I do kill kitties. i cant drink that hippy ass micro-brew shit no more. in my old age i have become one with the generic beer. i likey.
August 30th, 2006 at 9:06 am
Andrea, get some Booty Doo in your life. I can make you love me.
August 30th, 2006 at 10:09 am
So sorry Booty Doo, didn’t catch the irony! Hope you don’t hate on this hater! My head is now hung low like britney’s boobies! I have been skooled.
August 30th, 2006 at 1:13 pm
im gonna start once a year where i got to the city anc KO people on bikes..as for the choppers huh? i dont think im ready for that..ill stick to backwoods stuffed with donatello and shots of silver tequila..uno
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