Most of the stuff on Anticon doesn’t do it for me. I respect everyone grinding in the indie rap game cause it’s hard work but for the most part, Anticon puts records out that in general make me go “alright..sure, whatever.” Plenty of people enjoy it and should. It’s just not my bag, I’m an asshole who likes gritty turf raps much better than anything with cerebral content. If you don’t say my favorite word, “Biiiiiiiiiiiatch” and do it like $hort, I’ll probably yawn and tune you out.

Jel however is alright by me. He’s got this new 12″ out for his new album Soft Money, it features Wise Intelligent from Poor Righteous Teachers. The songs is pretty cool - but to be honest the reason I like it is because of the story Jel told me and my friend Max about how the track came together. So you may or may not be aware of the snack food line Rap Snacks. Rap Snacks are bags of chips with rap connotations in the names. They are pretty foul tasting but good for novelty and laughs. Anyhoo according to Jel, Rap Snacks were on sale at the 99 cent store by his house so of course, he bought some. Evidently, it came up in some sort of conversation with someone he knew that Wise Intelligent was supposedly handling customer service or sales for Rap Snacks. So Jel decides why not call the 1.800 number and see if it’s true? So he does. When his call is picked up he says, “Um, Can I speak with Wise Intelligent” and guess what? The dude on the other end goes, “Word, this is Wise” So Jel proceeds to kick game and convinces Wise to let him send some beats to listen to for possible collabo action. Jel sent the beats, Wise felt them and the rest is history. How dope is that? That’s some gully-ass why the fuck not diy shit. I got mad respect for anyone who will go on a random tangent like that. Who knew Rap Snacks would bring two people like Jel and Wise together.

Jel also got points for joining us at a Gurp City BBQ. The invite was prefaced with, “Listen, our friends have been drunk since last night, one of them has a black eye and the other we hear has a large gash on his forhead. We don’t really know and can’t promise you that fools will be sober or acting appropriate, but hey I’m making tacos and I’m a good cook!” He still agreed rather emphatically and then proceeded to hang out all day and all night and not be scared, horrified (well, maybe he was but he handled it well) or disgusted when fools proceeded to get shit-faced. So shit-faced that shenanigans ensued including but not limited to: throwing wallets, stunnah shades, bags of chips and anything not nailed down into the street, get shirtless to talk about tattoos including but not limited to ones on the inside of a bottom lip , share tales of being bitch-slapped by Sage Francis, wrestle, tip back massive swigs from bottles of Dominican rum and other wise run drunkenly amuck. He never once flinched or cringed, not even when the bottom lip tattoed was presented with an emphatic grunt. Peep the pic — that’s Jel’s response. A slight smile. Dude has cold game. I like that sorta thing in a person. So moral of the story is. Jel is alright by me. Get his record. He has rent to pay and more Rap Snacks to buy.

On a side note - peep “A Genocide” on Wise’s myspace page. That shit is fucking tight. It’s hella bouncy. Go on with yo’ self.

Jel - WMD / All Around

anticon

• Buy at iTunes Music Store
• Buy at RealNetworks / Rhapsody

• Download “WMD (w/ Wise Intelligent)” (MP3, 192kbps)

Read an interview with Jel in Mesh.

Lettuce on Nachos: Lettuce does not belong on nachos or burritos or fucking tacos for that matter. I know some of your are probably like “but i like lettuce on my tacos.” To you people I say, “Listen whitey, that’s on you. Last time I had a taco in Mexico there wasn’t any fucking lettuce. I don’t tell you how to make a cheeseburger don’t tell me how to make a taco, okay?” I’ve got nothing against lettuce as a vegetable. Truth be told, I really enjoy a nice salad. The fact of the matter is lettuce is really fucking hard to find in Mexico. When I lived in the Yucatan you couldn’t get a salad to save your life. If you did find one it was the most disgusting thing you ever tasted cause guess what - lettuce doesn’t grow that well there. I got some nachos this past weekend that were covered with hot soggy lettuce. It was hot and soggy because guess what the cheese was fucking melty and hot and delicious. The bastard lettuce was goopin’ up the cheese and hindering me from enjoying the damn glory and wonder of the nachos. Same shit happens in a burrit or a taco. Lettuce gets hot. Lettuce does not taste good hot. Period. Think about it and stop the madness.

Not-So-Hot-”Hot Wings”: Sometimes I think I shoulda been a black guy or a Super Fan cause then I would have an excuse for my unadulterated love of the “hot wing” I fucking love hot wings. I love them so much even Eddie K sometimes calls me “Lil Spicy Chicken Wangs wit Sauce” from time to time. I can’t deny it, them shits are delicious. However, it is very rare that I get a truly hot, “hot wing.” Sure many are spicy, some are almost hot but few are indeed worthy of the name. This past week I participated in a semi-impromptu wing test. I had wings from several establishments in the states of Arizona and California. At each place we ordered the wings “HOT.” All in all every basket of wings consumed was not hot. Some made my lips burn a little bit but none of them had me waving my hands yelling “BEEEEER PLEASE” Which in case you didn’t know is how you tell if wings are indeed “HOT” Surprisingly the “hottest” wings tasted were from Domino’s Pizza. How crazy is that? I think there should be an organization that approves the useage of the term “HOT WINGS” just like they approve the usage of the term “ORGANIC” in order to protect people like myself from wack wings. Me and my brother could be the president and vice president of such organization. Dude that would rule.

No Peanut Butter Chip Cupcakes in SF: I’ve never even had one of thesebut I already know they are delicious and very worth $3.50 a piece. Sprinkles is a fancy ass cupcakerie* in Beverly Hills that specializes in fancy ass flavors like Peanut Butter Chip or Ginger Lemon or Chai Latte. They got hella press cause Oprah went “FREEEEE CUPCAKES FROM SPRINKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALS, PEOPLE!” on her show this one time. I could give two shits what Oprah thinks** but my pals in WeHo are always talking about making hella special trips to Sprinkles just to cop cupcakes. They talk about it like it’s some indulgent mission to score blow in the Valley, so I know the shit is good. I’m pissed because I fucking love cupcakes, shit I have one tattooed on my ankle, and to my knowledge ain’t no place to get a Peanut Butter Chip one here in SF. And I don’t back so don’t be fucking smart and say “Make Some” I stick to BBQing and other culinary shit, baking ain’t my bag. I burn shit every time. Next time I’m in the LA area I’m so going to Sprinkles.

*yeah i made that word up. what are you gonna do about it. watch that shit spread like wildfire.
** fuck - i hope i’m not doomed now. i hope typing bad about O doesn’t automatically release her minions to devour my flesh.

Player of the Week:

Dude who birthed the concept of the drive-thru liquor store
*please note this slide show has a little “+” button on the lower left hand corner. Press that bitch to speed the slide show up. Shit moves hella slow and i know you ain’t got all day. I bet Wanda from Accounting is looking over your shoulder right now thinking “Steve Dave never works, ever!”

Here in California we don’t have the drive-thru liqour store. I’ve heard the stories of the drive-thru liqour but always thought that shit was a myth. Now I know it is indeed a reality, cause I went to one in Tucson this past weekend. Let me be the first one to say IT’S FUCKING AWESOME! You just drive up, tell dude what you want, give him your bread and then he makes with the booze. Of course the only downfall is you really gotta know what you want. You can’t be pullin’ any of that sorority girl “I dunno you like SoCo? I puked last time…let’s get Stoli Vanilla instead” though otherwise you gonna fuck up the rotation. In fact, I’d go as far as to say that only experienced gurpers should fuck with the drive-thru. Pro - Gurpers like myself drink the same shit all the time so it’s nothing to roll up and cop your juice. The only dangerous part is it’s really hard to stop yourself from drinking it immediately. It just feels so right. I refuse to incriminate myself but let’s just say if you get a 40oz handed to you in a bag, pre-wrapped, I want to see you try and NOT twist the cap off and tip that bitch.

Listen up rellies…

I got me some new technology shit. Basically I gets access to hella songs that I can post for download here for free. You bitches get to read what I have to say about them and then you can cop the song or the album or whatever.

I’m not gonna go all full fledged music blogger or anything but I’m creating a new addition to the site sorta like Player of the Week, that is going to be called Music I Love to Hate or Music I Hate to Love.

Here’s how it will work:

Live-N-Direct

San Quinn
Get Low Digital

• Buy at iTunes Music Store
• Buy at eMusic

• Download “Caught In The Rapture” (MP3, 192kbps)

Buy at iTunes Music Store

Buy at eMusic

• Download “All Day Every Day” (MP3, 192kbps)

San Quinn is one of those rappers who I’m sorta indifferent to. Sometimes he pops off with mad heat. Sometimes he’s phoning it in. This is some oooooooooooold school San Quinn shit - back from when G Funk was the way of the walk. Way before fools were going hyphy, dumb, stupid, retarded. Peep the laid back gangsta vibe. Pretty stark difference between what he’s doin’ now. I can’t front though “Hell Yeah” is the jam. I don’t have a legal mp3 of that joint but you can cop it at iTunes or throw a tape in the deck and wait for that shit to come on the radio, then press play and record at the same time and bootleg that shit the old fashioned way. These kids these days have no idea what we went through to steal music back in the day. We didn’t have no Limewire, no Bit Torrent, no Soulseek…mutherfuckers got it easy.