Hater Tuesday

Drippy Cups:
I fucking love coffee. It’s delicious. It’s caffeinated and I like that sorta thing from a beverage. What I don’t love is a goddamn drippy coffee lid. What causes this? Why does it happen? Someone told me once that if you put the open part of the lid opposite of the seam on the cup it won’t drip. I’ve concluded that is a bullshit theory because for the last two days I’ve had a drippy cup. I even made an effort to apply said theory to the lid. Although, I am convinced my lid was faulty because I got the coffee from Starbucks. And Starbucks is a bunch of dicks (except for that nice lady who knows my name and remembers I like my afternoon coffee cold.) My local coffee shop Moto Java is closed ’cause the lovely couple who run it are on a vacation of some sort. All I know is my coffee cup NEVER drips when I get it from MotoJava. Never. Maria please come home early so I can have delicious dripless coffee please! Please!

Holier Than Thou Disabled:
This one is gonna piss some people off , but I don’t give a fuck. Here’s the thing…just because you are disabled doesn’t mean you rule the universe. Yeah I said it. Just because you can’t walk and you can only get around via a Lil’ Rascal scooter does not give you license to block entrances, barrel around corners and generally be rude in public spaces. The woman pictured here was one of the ruddest shoppers I’ve encountered at Whole Foods in a while. She had her Lil Rascal all terrain vehicle lodged right in the middle of the freaking entrance. She was digging around in her basket for some shit completely oblivious to anyone around her. We had to walk all the way around the flower department just to grab a basket. But don’t worry cause as soon as we approached her general area she scowled at us and then started up her scooter and made me think to myself “She’s coming right for us!” She almost ran us over about 4 more times during our 15 minute shopping trip. She got in line right behind us and scowled at me again as if I should have asked if she wanted to go first. She pushed her scooter so close to my feet I was afraid of losing my balance and falling into her lap. As we were leaving she sped past us and cut us off so she could get out the door first. Isaac and I looked at each other like “Who does she think she is?”

SNL Ironic Raps I think I am the only person on the planet who did not think that the whole “Red Vines + Mr. Pibb” bullshit wasn’t funny at all. I thought it was annoying. Real Annoying. With capital leters and a period. So when I saw this whole Natalie Portman Rap I was even more annoyed. Yeah I understand why it’s funny. It’s Natalie Portman. Rapping. Rapping about being hard and shit when she’s like a little waify Harvard chick. I see the irony but it’s just dumb to me. I find Natalie Portman wierd looking. Her face bothers me. Her acting bothers me more. Her voice is the ultimate in annoying. I could never see her again and that would be too soon. Portman coupled with Parnell’s whole “look I’m white…and I’m rapping…isn’t that CRAAAAAAAAAAAAZY?” schtick sends me into a fit of rage. Just let it go Parnell. Do it for me. Do it for hip-hop. If you really, really like hip-hop just let it go. Stop fucking it up.

The New Fence:Someone put up this new fence around the Bank of America parking lot and it’s fucking my shit up. Every day we go for afternoon coffee, we usually walk through that parking lot, sometimes hit the ATM and then proceed to Starbucks (its the closest place for coffee down here.) Now we gotta walk all the way around. FUCK THAT FENCE.

PLAYER OF THE WEEK:

The honors this week go to the dude I saw washing his hands in a rain puddle yesterday. Oh and don’t worry cause he WAS NOT homeless. He was some hispanic dude who decided that before getting into his car he needed to reach down scoop up some dirty ass rain puddle water from the middle of the street and give his hands a nice wash. What I want to know is what the fuck was on his hands that needed to be washed off so bad that a rain puddle was a suitable place to wash up. Dirty ass stagnant rain water filled with god knows what is NOT cool to wash your hands with. I don’t give a fuck what’s on your hands. That is just nasty.

BTW….my new phone finally arrived. All of the photos on this page were taken with my phone. It’s freaking awesome.