Corey Trevor, Trevor Corey, It’s Mutherfucking Hater Tuesday…
This is the last Hater Tuesday of 2005 folks (there is technically one more Tuesday but I go strictly by the Hater Calendar which requires one Tuesday off at the end of the year for boozing.) It’s been a good year. Lots of hating has gone down and I can’t fucking wait until 2006 to open a fresh page in my hater notebook for you bitches. Now enough bullshitty self praise and on with the show.
- PLAYERS OF THE WEEK
I’ve decided to do a full post of player of the week. I found too much mainey shit this week so we got multiple players to congratu-hate.
Oops I Gave You The Clap e-card:
This is for real. Honestly, not even Vice could make this shit up. All I’m saying is, if someone gives me the clap, I would hope that they would at least have the decency to call me up and tell me themselves. However, now that we got so many mother fuckers online dating/whoring and shit, I suppose an e-clap card was only a matter of time in the making. What’s next “Yo, I’m knocked up. Send Abortion money” e-card?
Korean Girl:
click here for close up
This is some next level 2008 shit right here. This dude has no fucking time for Missed Connections or online personal ads or fucking saving phone numbers. He’s over all that punk shit and taking it to the mutherfucking streets with a sincere, hand written, hand duplicated and applied street team campaign. I mean really though how could you possibly resist a plea for love like this. I seen about 15 of these all over my hood. I had to take one down the other night just so I could scan it and post it here. Peep this shit. This is REAL game. Fuck remembering a girl’s name when you have a description like “Korean Girl”. Oh and fuck leaving a phone number. If he spent time making posters she can at least break bread on a carrier pigeon or some sky writing right? Live the dream, Mike. Live the dream.
Young Jeezy Breezies:
These two lil breezies just changed my entire outlook on Young Jeezy. Jeezy is now my shit. Also, I want to go back in time so I can be 13 and make friends with these girls. Lil girl on the left has a mean hard face, she shows great potential. On the real though, in 4 years or less these two chicks are gonna be ass up on a couch at a house party in Pinole playing donkey with every fool in there. I just know it. That much Jeezy at a young age will do it to you. I sorta want to send them a couple of 40s as an appreciation present. Gyeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
Young Jeezy: Since I just gave it up for Jeezy, I feel like I can now say that the Snowman wins best lyricist of the year. “patty cake, patty cake, microwave.” really took it there, followed closely by “I’m emotional, I love my block. I’m emotional, I love my glock” He’s got the quotables for sure. Feel free to post your favorite Young Jeezy-ism in the comments.
Home Video Posts/Sites: My homie Thuggy Fresh aka Rez were talking yesterday about how there are going to be more and more video blogs hosting shit like you see above. You Tube and Google Video have loads of videos you can search with key words. After Christmas you know there will only be more. Every kid who got a video camera, digital camera or camera phone with video capabilities is gonna be posting even more silly shit. That doesn’t even cover the people who shouldn’t have camera’s to begin with. Thugs and cameras don’t mix. Not even wanna be thugs and cameras mix. We spent some time perusing and found some fucking keepers. It’s amazing what people willingly post on the internet these days. Anyhoo here are some links to ones that tickled me and deemed worthy of mention.
Kids A-Giggin’ These little players are going dumb in the living room until the older brother comes in and pulls a Chuck Norris on they ass and then goes dumb his damn self. Play on player.
Don’t Climb Fences When You Are Drunk:
This one is pretty amazing. I don’t know where this happened but homegirl is looooooooooooooaded and evidently trying to climb a fence. Only God knows where her other stocking and her shoes are.
Baby G & Huffy Huff: Limo Status
Limo status mayne, what it do mayne? Daffy Duck my niggahs, that’s what it is. Cartoon characters, you know what I’m saying? Who else can say they got a tattoo and pants to match? Kill scratch when I see scratch. Yaddidadmean?
Baby G & Huffy Huff: Limo Status Part 2
I thought the first one was on some shit then I heard Baby G come with the term “relaxeded couch” If you don’t think I’m not going to start using that then you must be out of your fucking mind. These two videos exemplify everything that I love and hate about the Bay. It’s fucking beautiful. Sexy ugly. You feel me? I mean Yaddidadmean? Off the yelzelbub. On the real.
So yeah. That’s it. See you fucktards next year. You know you’ll be back. Shiiit.
December 20th, 2005 at 11:46 am
Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer.
I’ll be in SF next tuesday boozin’ with ya.
December 20th, 2005 at 11:51 am
spuniun - fuck yes, ill have frosty guiness and a shot of jameson 18 year waiting for you. its on - also the only thing that cuts chuck norris is chuck norris.
December 20th, 2005 at 12:17 pm
Great, thanks, now I’m going to lose my entire afternoon to mytube.
Oh, and I was thinking of you when I wrote this http://www.livejournal.com/users/kaypie/2005/12/19/
See you in the new year.
December 20th, 2005 at 12:20 pm
i’ve just been inspired. i just got this best buy gift card for x-mas and i didn’t know what to do with it (best buy doesn’t sell gas or groceries). but now, i’m gonna save that shit up and get a video camera. baby g and huffy huff better watch out.
as for the clap e-cards, making them anonymous allows you to use them for some good couch fucking. you better protect your shit, or someone might send one of those to you and fuck up your holiday.
December 20th, 2005 at 12:25 pm
I’ve already sent out a half dozen of those cards…
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December 20th, 2005 at 1:18 pm
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Nothing says street like Walt Disney.
P.S. Tried to switch my flight to get in earlier; outlook not so good. Taking work off Thursday and might try to persuade united to let me on earlier flight on standby without changing reservation, so I can get there at like 530 instead of 930. What say you?
December 20th, 2005 at 1:47 pm
I want my royalties for supplying 60% of the content for this weeks blog.
“This aint yo fuckin blog bitches, this is my LIFE!”
You love jeezy now (in more ways than one). 88 was right, just frontin all along.
If anyone wants to get me something for XMAS I want one of these…
http://www.youtube.com/?v=uc3i3TAACYA
just make sure it has a job cuz I cant affor to take care of it.
December 20th, 2005 at 2:48 pm
mle - isn’t holiday couch fucking the best?
dana - fuck a christmas tree, did you learn nothing from last week’s post. hey but you do have kids. i guess they want a tree right?
spuniun- dude for rilla. best ever
me - get here already shit. call me will you. sheesh.
el gurpo - did you not see the link to yo blog fool? shit. royalties my ass. according to my latest statement you are still currently unrecouped for several promtional expenses related to your post gurp activities from the years 2002-2005. also good usage of Jeezyism. Gyeaaaaaaah.
December 20th, 2005 at 4:08 pm
Oops I gave you the Clap is so gentle. It so much better than, “Hi grandson, I bloodied my diaper again.” Or, “Sorry your Alter-Boy jaw has been temporarily dislocated by my enormous priestly cock-creature.”
Chuck Norris can suck his own dick! We should congratulate him for leaving the house.
Young Breezies - Them bitches is going to get passed around more than Preparation H at a gay bull riders convention. I’ll have to give them your sisters work uniform saying, “3 Holes - Plug and Play available”
Hey Felch-Mongers - Keep Hate Alive in 06′
December 20th, 2005 at 4:18 pm
Baby G and Huffy Huff were actually slated to be co-stars in the epic Teen-Wolf saga until those ass-pounding pillow-biters Michael J. Fox and Jason Bateman pulled rusty trombones on the producers. Pole-Jockeys. Atleast they gave G and Huffy Justine Bateman (actually Jason in drag) as a consolation prize.
December 20th, 2005 at 6:07 pm
dude you leave jason bateman out of it. he is a sweet,sweet faced white man who i have a tender wholesome love for. he didn’t mean any harm.
December 20th, 2005 at 7:24 pm
damn. if i was going to a prom or something, i know which fools would be driving my limo, yadidimean!?
by the way, in FF today i saw a salvation army cat sporting a billed beanie, with a double goose jacket and a gold chain…..alas, no fronts, or stunna shades….ima keep lookin
December 21st, 2005 at 8:12 am
An’ den whaaaaaaa? I think the future holds different fates for those two ladies, much like Tre and Doughboy. The one on the left will become a star field hockey goalie at Duke and end up marrying Alicia Keys. The one on the right will become a republican congresswoman and spend the rest of her career explaining away this video to her constituents as a “youthful indiscretion.”
December 21st, 2005 at 8:20 am
Hi,
Thanks to Hater Tuesday, I now know the meaning of the word “schadenfreude”.
I’m making you mixtape titled “You Can’t Trust A Big Butt & A Smile.”
Love,
Dave Grohl
December 21st, 2005 at 10:30 am
derka - dude good lookin’ out i knew there was gonna be someone out in the ‘Field rocking hyphy bellringing gear. let’s get that dude some stunnas, STAT. at the very least he needs to be rockin them shits. also how badly do we need a scraper limo? on the rilla. if we could push one of those around with a Gurp City logo on the back window. Lordy, lord.
gandolf - whoa. you just blew my mind. seriously. i think you are right. fuck me. im linking you today btw.
hizzy - yi yi yi yi yi yi yi yi yi
December 21st, 2005 at 12:03 pm
Dear Hot Hater Girl -
“yi yi yi yi yi yi yi yi yi”
Is this some bay slang I’m not up on?
Toodles,
DG
December 21st, 2005 at 12:26 pm
Hizzy-
Take some peyote and get the Jim Morrison anal beads out. Get intouch with your Indian side. To quote Lisa Lampinelli - Casino Indian, not Slurpee. Did the casino manifest destiny your $$$ away and now you can’t stand the sound of a triumphant “yi yi yi yi yi yi”?
December 21st, 2005 at 12:48 pm
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December 21st, 2005 at 3:22 pm
Hiz - please see Mac Dre, Hoodstars, Frontline and Federation for more info on “yi yi yi yi”
cockzilla - ruthless my ninja. ruthless
buffy - on the real tho.
December 22nd, 2005 at 2:48 am
“you gotta drive real slow when them pies be on ya”
thanks to young jezzy i now drive slow when im comming back from humbolt..ill see ya NYE (hopefully my order of my grandpa’s plums will be here) HOLLA
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December 27th, 2005 at 7:07 pm
I came here today looking for hate and realized you are not hating this week and I hate that. So there.
December 29th, 2005 at 6:24 am
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January 1st, 2006 at 10:55 am
Happy New Year, Lydia! :) Looking foward to Hater Tuesday 2006!!!
January 3rd, 2006 at 12:00 pm
I love those cards! thats so funny!
And that girl and the fence was priceless.
-Tee
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