Hater Tuesday

High School Reunions: This past weekend I attended my 10 year high school reunion. My childhood best friend and I went to go and check out the obvious - fat cheerleaders, meat-heads who never made the NFL draft and now work at Enterprise Rent-a-Car, math dorks who are now super hot and rich, basically we were totally after the whole Romi and Michelle fantasy. Well that shit was bunk, like super fucking tired. I graduated in a class of at least 300 and there were only about 80 people there at most. Of those 80, I knew 2. There weren’t even any fat cheerleaders I could make fun of. Nothing. I got taken for $95 dollars and was left with absolutely nothing to hate on except for the fact that I got fucking taken for a lot of bread. If you get an invite to a class reunion planned and executed by “High Class Reunions” don’t go. Don’t even think about it. I ended up drunk as a skunk singing Karoke in Japantown instead of making out with stoner ex-boyfriends and spilling my drinks on bitches named Jenny.

Anothy Kedis’ Bangs:

Really, Anthony, I mean come on….This is the best you can do? I mean I know you are a rock star and you can do what you want but this shit is not ok. Not okay at all. Granted you are still pretty hot - but you are rapidly morphing into Iggy Pop. Let’s lose those bangs - then we can talk about your tribal tats….P.S. How bout that Rick Rubin? Dang.

Guest Hate from my pal Dave White aka DJ Mrs White In The Library aka Awesome LA Writer Man who has a book coming out called - Exile In Guyville -How a Punk Rock Redneck Faggot Texan Moved to West Hollywood and Refused to Be Shiny and Happy Yes that IS the title! Anyhoo, Dave wrote some very important hate filled thoughts in regards to the new bullshitty Gap Jeans campaign - which is wack if you didn’t know. Here are Dave’s thoughts, I hope they touch you as they did me:

“I bought the 800-page September Vogue last night and pulled out the fragrance strips so my hubby wouldn’t get all headachey and pulled out the subscription cards so I wouldn’t get all headachey myself. And then I yanked out the weird little GAP insert advertising their limited edition CD sold only at GAP with eight cover songs by eight people (”Our favorite artists, their favorite songs.”)

Here they are:

Alanis Morrisette - “Crazy” by Seal
Joss Stone - “God Only Knows” by the Beach Boys
John Legend - “Hello, It’s me” by the Isley Brothers
Michelle Williams (from Destiny’s Child) - “Let’s Stay Together” by Al Green
Jason Mraz - “One Love” by Bob Marley
Keith Urban - “Most People I Know Think That I’m Crazy” by Billy Thorpe
Liz Phair - “Cheek to Cheek” by Irving Berlin
Brandon Boyd (from Incubus) - “Alison” by Elvis Costello

Why they gotta lie about these people being their “favorites?” They were “gets” and that’s all. And with the possible exception of John Legend I’d sooner eat broken glass than listen to any of it. Now if R. Kelly were on it singing “Thank Heaven for Little Girls” or 50 Cent and Common rapping the “Endless Love” duet I’d be first in line.”

I told you he was smart.

Player of the Week:

Johnny Knoxville
Check out Knoxville’s choice of babes…I thought calloused knees were a whore-myth….evidently that shit is real…check out this whore’s knees. I guess she’s really worked them out.