I fucking hope you watched the VMAs or at the very least you tuned in just in time to watch RKelly perform his one man show - yes a one man show. He acted out all the parts of the Trapped In The Closet saga AND he added Chapter 6. Chapter 6 is actually more like chapter 3.5 - it takes up after Sylvester leaves Kathy, Rufus and Chuck to go see his “sunshine” and get a leg cramp.
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- Kathy ain’t havin’ it.
- RKelly knows how to mock a wicked fake gay hair flip and talk to the hand combo
- It is possible to create an even more confusing chapter simply by not using pronouns. There is one part of the song that I’, pretty sure there is one portion of the song that just says, “Rufus says Chuck, Chuck says Rufus, Rufus says Kathy, Kathy says Chuck says Kathy, now Rufus say Chuck” for about 45 seconds.
- With stage make-up RKels looks startlingly like the Japanese doll version of himself.
- RKels has a man-on-man kiss with himself.
- RKels might be a big ol’ underground friend of dorothy - I’m convinced
- RKels lets us all down by sending Rufus back to his wife and leaving Chuck broken hearted.
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- Diddy had a montage of himself. Pfvvvvt.
- Kelly Clarkson needs a new stylist BAD. REAL BAD…Can we get her some shoes and keep her out of the waterfalls next time?
- Shakira’s mid-section is mystifying.
- Alejandro Sanz….please don’t bleach again. Ever.
- Kanye and Jamie Foxx’s performance was the most egotistical display ever. Jamie Foxx also needs to learn how to stay clothed while on stage performing….PS. You ARE NOT Ray Charles. Jeeez.
- Hilary Duff is a giant rectangle - The Superficial is right.
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- Missy and Ciara - I’m saying Missy is hitting that shit…fa reals. I can tell.
- Who let Eva Longoria wear a stupid bathing suit - Her crotch is hungry - it’s eating her pants -err, bathing suit.
*Totally unrelated but can we please talk about a fake dready Julia Roberts in the new Dave Matthews Band video? I am officially the opposite of their demographic.
August 29th, 2005 at 10:14 am
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August 29th, 2005 at 11:26 am
I wanna talk more about Taradise. I’ve begun capping the show on TiVO so that I can share Tara’s inspiring impressions of other nations and cultures with the rest of the world who can’t stand to watch an entire episode.
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August 29th, 2005 at 12:55 pm
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Oohhhh… See, I thought that she had a visa card, not was a visa card!
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i tried to watch the vma’s and then r kelly started…and continued…and kept going…and wouldn’t stop…then i began to get a headache…i got woozy…nausea overcame me…finally i changed the channel and everything was okay again in the world.
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oh yeah…on the whole shakira thing: i agree her bellydancing skills are stupifying, but the whole jutting-out-the-crotch-into-the air thing is a bit michael jackson/cristina aguilera-esque and a bit obvious. she should concentrate more on those wicked stomach moves.
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