LADIES AND GENTLEMAN IT’S HATER TUESDAY - The Advertising Edition
Some advertising campaigns are clever and intriguing, most are pointless and confusing. I feel comfortable saying that 90% of campaigns are down right insultingly retarded. I read, err, well I skim through a lot of magazines - the point is I pay attention to the ads. I have chosen a few to discuss that strike me as especially dumb and in need of hating.
First up …
Newport -
“Oh my goodness, you are sooo crazy! You’re squirting mustard all over my potato chip instead of my hot dog. It’s so refreshing to finally meet a man who understands me…Ahhh I need a Newport!”
Is this saying that Newport pleasure is as exciting as someone squirting mustard on my chips? Or is it saying that mustard on chips is for crazy white people that I should avoid BBQs and just hit the corner store and cop myself a pack of Newports so that I can keep it real? I don’t know what Newport is saying. I am just confused. Every time I see this ad, I say to myself “WHAT THE FUCK!.” Also Newport really neeeds a new font bad. Who uses drop shadow anymore?
Next up …
Garnier Fructis -
The tag line on this ad is “New Surf Hair: Surf’s up for beach-style hair”
Check out dude’s face. WTF? Why is he making that face? What is that? Why? Also his hair is so not awesome I can’t even begin to consider taking it seriously. If I ever see someone rocking this look I think it is my personal responsibility to punch them directly in their puckered kisser.
Moving on to…
Deisel -
So this is not so much a bad ad campaign as it is a just a bad fashion concept period. Do we need a combination sneaker-cowboy boot? I really thought we all learned a lesson from the ridiculous and unnecessary Ugg - Muckluck shoe trend. Obviously I am wrong. I give Mary Kate and Snatchly Olsen about 2 weeks before they start working these into that whole hobo chic thing they got going.
Keds -
Cool is me? Plain and simple? It’s me? Dang. I knew I was cool. Finally someone gets me.
If I’m so fucking cool then why am I staring at this photo of Mischa Barton dressed like a fucking welcome mat? What is going on here? Her “cool” look is so distracting I can’t even focus on the shoes. Exactly what about this outfit is not begging to be seen, fading into the background and isn’t screaming for attention. I mean if Keds can’t even dress Mischa according to the “cool rules” how am I supposed to take their shoes seriously? Jeez.
August 3rd, 2005 at 6:21 am
That guy is doing Le Tigre… it’s beautiful.
I don’t care about the “snoots”, they’re being kinky.
And Keds aren’t cool, ever.
August 3rd, 2005 at 9:27 am
dude you’re right is is the Le Tigre…I was just offended because I thouhgt he was going for more of a Blue Steel.
August 5th, 2005 at 10:29 am
It’s not a printed ad, but that commercial for “Stridex for Men shave gel” where the “guy” stops in the airport bathroom to “freshen up”. really deserves a post of it’s own. We are forced to assume he has just flown in and is to be greeted by his female counterpart at the gate. First, the actor looks about 14. He ain’t got nothing to shave. He’s too baby-faced. Second, how the hell is he able to take a razor on an airplane? Then when she finally “greets” him, she kisses him on the cheek? If I fly all the way across country, smuggle a razor in my luggage, shave in the airport bathroom, and all I get is a peck on the cheek, I’m getting back on the plane and flying home.
Btw, Mustard is good on french fries…
August 5th, 2005 at 10:33 am
Sorry for the double post, but that chick in the Fructis ad has small breasts.
August 6th, 2005 at 10:14 am
Lydia, you rock, period. You hadn’t mentioned it anywhere so forgive me if you’ve already seen this a zillion times, but I thought of you first when I saw Fergie peeing her pants:
http://www.defamer.com/hollywood/fergie/index.php#if-only-there-were-a-pun-to-be-made-involving-the-name-of-the-band-115408
Classy.
August 6th, 2005 at 12:17 pm
squid-
i will be keeping my eyes open for the gillette commercial of which you speak. lord knows that i adore bitching about horrid ads.
debbie -
dude i know. i was going to post something on fergie wetting err, i mean sweating herself but everyone and thier mom’s wrote about it so i let it go.
however the fact that fergies publcity folk are trying to have us all belive she is just sweating is awesome. cause really tho - if your vagina is that sweaty i am pretty sure it means your vagina is really a set of balls.
fucking gross. shes a man baby, a man.
August 9th, 2005 at 12:38 pm
see i was able to post using totally made up shit…if you want to comment just do it.
August 11th, 2005 at 4:09 pm
“cause really tho - if your vagina is that sweaty i am pretty sure it means your vagina is really a set of balls.”
- those must be her “lady lumps”
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