LADIES AND GENTLEMAN IT’S HATER TUESDAY!
I could apologize to you all for not posting a Hater Tuesday last week but that would defeat the purpose of this blog which is to hate on everything. So fuck ya’ll if you missed last Tuesday’s post. I had hella shit to do and had to do real life hating so there was just no time to post. Deal with it. You’re lucky you got a post today. I barely had time to pen this garbage.
Why is it so bright outside? Can someone please explain why each time I leave the office the sun tries to scorch my retinas? If the sun could be less bright that would be ideal.
Irrational demands are so 2004. Will someone please send out a bulk memo encouraging people to be more realistic about the stuff they want and need in their daily lives.
Inhalers taste like assholes. Each time I inhale a hit off my puffer, it feels like someone is gently blowing a fart into my mouth. A dry stinky bitter fart right into my lungs…thus resulting in about 10 minutes of breathing farts in and out of my lungs. Can someone invent an Albuterol Inhaler that tastes like chocolate?
Whole Foods. I love it. I hate it. Why is it so fucking expensive. It has come to my attention that I spend waaay more money than I need to be spending on lunch at Whole Foods on a daily basis. I totally understand why it is called Whole Paycheck by the haters. Also can they get a fucking coffee bar that sells good tasting coffee already?
Tit Talkers. Yes girls have boobs. Some girls have big boobs. Some girls have little boobs. Even if we show our boobs a little bit does not mean we want you to address them personally. I have hated on this before but it is a recurring problem and I feel like it needs to be hated on again. This past weekend some tool in a striped shirt and fancy jeans from the Marina came to the Bing Ji Ling show and adressed my boobs directly. He looked into them and then proceeded to ask them if they would like to take shots. Don’t talk to my boobs please. Talk to me.
Long Summer Days. Dude I love summer as much as the next guy but seriously why are the days so damn long. I got here some time ago and it’s only 3. Only 3! I feel like it should be more like 5 or 6. I’d really like to go home now but I have at least 4 more hours here. Ugg.
Player of the Week:
Bam Margera’s ex Jen
She called into a Philadelphia radio station this week to announce that Bam fucked Jessica Simpson and Johnny Knoxville. You go girl…get your bitter bitch on.
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