HATER TUESDAY PART DUEX

tuned into upn last night at 9:15 a little upset with myself for forgetting that Britney and Kevin were gonna be on the TV box. fortunately, the show was even worse than i imagined and i immediately was glad that i had spared myself at least 15 minutes of unnecessary confusion.

did anyone else watch that train wreck? holy fuck was it bad. and i don’t mean in a this-is-so-bad-its-good-surreal life kind of way. it was just bad. i could literally hear britney’s record sales dropping, no falling, no careening to a halt during the one-hour program. i use the word “program” loosely. it seems as if either britney came up with the mastermind idea to tape her day-to-day life while on tour over seas and then sold the crappy footage to the highest bidder.

basically the “show” proves with out a doubt that britney is a washed up hag who fancies herself much smarter and sophisticated than she is. however, the show did affirm al of my britney theories.

  1. bitch is all smoke and mirrors - she needs to work on that skin, bitch is u-g-l-y without like 5 pounds of makeup and airbrushing.
  2. bitch is backwoods hick for life - totally clueless, ya’ll
  3. bitch is slightly crazy and certainly diluted - her “antics” and her goofiness are very fake. i claim stupid is as stupid does. she is also surrounded by a team of people that perpetuate her clueless-ness and her warped self-perspective.
  4. bitch gets freaky and wasted - virgin my ass! like any good country girl, she has been spreading since she realized she had a vagina. also she has been sippin on moonshine and doing backwoods blow for at least the last 8 years. did you see her skin?
  5. funkybiznatch is right - he did it all for the nooky and the dough - once upon a time, my friend kelly and I were in Safeway. I picked up a magazine with Brit on the cover and flipped through the pages, confused, with a look of disgust on my face. I turned to kelly and said, “Okay there are only two reasons a girl would let herself go like this, drugs and dicknotization - lots of blow and a good deep dicking can make you crazy” or something like that. last night there were so many and i do mean “sooooo many” references to how many times she had sex on any given day (she boasted 3 times on one day and explained that her “glow” was the result). all she taked about was sex. she also at one point while pointing the camera at a shirtless kevin says, “lets just stay in and fuck all day”. evidently all that fucking worked out okay, now she’s knocked up and completely destroyed her career just cause of some dick. part of me wants to sleep with KFeds just to see what the big fuss is about. how is it possible that someone like Cletus, er Kevin, a burn-out from Fresno can dicknotize and knock up Hollywood bitches left and right?

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