LADIES AND GENTLEMAN IT’S HATER TUESDAY
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The Rain- Yes I know it is a part of nature and all things spring related. Spring showers bring May flowers or however that retarded saying goes. But right now, seriously, the only thing that spring showers are bringing is a bad attitude on my part. The fucking rain drives me insane. I can’t handle the constant wet and the grey. I live in California for a fucking reason. Now make with my fucking sunshine or I am going to be forced to fuck shit up just to entertain myself. Or I am going to smoke myself into a coma…that is all the rain makes me want to do….sit around and get high.
The Osbournes - Did anyone besides me happen to catch the final Osbournes last night? Well I suppose I should alter the verb “catch” because I didn’t watch it. I instead flipped past it, and then flipped back to it just to make sure I saw what I thought I saw. What I did “catch” was a glimpse of Dr. Phil…on the Osbournes. As I mentioned, I did not watch it…I couldn’t. I was too enraged. Why the fuck was Dr. Phil on the final episode? Is it to let us all know that they know that we know they are fucked up? Or is it to let us see that Dr. Phil is amazing by letting us watch him dissect and berate the Osbourne family? At this point we are all fully saturated with the inner workings of the Osbourne family so it seems preposterous for them to make an attempt at “solving” their problems. Wasn’t it those same problems that made them so fun to watch in the beginning? Also Dr. Phil is as un-metal or un-punk rock as it gets. For a family who seemingly prides themselves on operating outside of the Hollywood or mainstream norm, inviting a pompous fuck bag like Dr. Phil into your house seems fucking looney. I blame Sharon.
Sharon Osbourne is fucking insane. Maybe she is trying to poise herself as the next “Oprah”. Or maybe she already thinks she is Oprah? You know how rich people are, they like something or the idea of something and the next thing you know craziness ensues on said search for attainment of the thing they want. I would bet 5 bucks that Sharon makes her help refer to her as something crazy like “Sharo” or “girlfriend” or “Mrs.O”. I also have a feeling she probably sends expensive gifts to Oprah in hopes of one day being included in the inner Oprah circle. Cause when the armageddon comes, if you ain’t down with Oprah you won’t be chillin safe inside the “inner light room” with the rest of the beloved celebrities who she will be preserving for the rebuilding of humanity. Fucking Oprah.
Lack of Celebrity Whoring I count on a few sites for photos of my favorite celebrities in whorish situations. I then take said photos, deliberate and compose the hate filled and bitchy quips you all come here for. As of late, my favorite sites have been seriously lacking on the photos of whoring, drunk,poorly dressed, without make up ect, celebs. I wonder what is going on? I blame the rain. It’s keeping all my favorite whores in the house and off the streets of LA. I am tempted to print up invites to a fake event at Lotus or Koi just so I can get these sluts back on the streets with drinks in their hands. Mamma has to get the bitchiness out of her system or mamma goes craaazy!
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Only R. Kelly could come out with hit after hit after hit after being accused several times over for being a baby girl toucher, lady pisser on-er and possibly a shitter on-er. And only R. Kelly could release song, after song, after song that include lyrics so ridiculous that you have no choice but to bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce with them because it’s just right with the melodies he has paired them with. Was that proper english? Eh who cares, R. Kelly wouldn’t.
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