LADIES AND GENTLEMAN IT’S HATER TUESDAY
Another day is upon us my friends and lucky for you it’s Tuesday. This week Lil Haters go to the following….
The Oscars - So I am not a big fan of pomp and circumstance, but the Oscars are supposed to be a classy event. Even though I was not alive in the days of old Hollywood glamor, I still think the Oscars should be like that. All glammy and rad, everyone should look fucking gorgeous and proper. No mohawks, no cornrows, no entourage, ect. I was really upset when I woke up mid nap and realized they were giving out Oscars in the aisles. That’s just not classy. I mean, imagine that you are a Sound Engineer or something important like that. You participate in a big ass movie that you know everyone is going to be shitting Twinkies over and you will never ever be really credited with being a crucial part of the awesome-ness. Then by some grace of god you actually get nominated for your work, granted it will be one of the awards no one cares about. You just cross your fingers and hope you are included in the Big Show as opposed to the Science and Tech Awards which are more or less the equivalent of being made sit at the children’s table at Thanksgiving when you are and adult. So you finally make it to the Big Show and when it comes time to announce your category and the presenter is in the aisle handing you the award. In the aisle. Right there. No stage. No music. No victory walk. Just bam, thanks for the sound guy, here’s your award, now sit down so we can pan left to Hillary Swank’s clearly visible nipples before we cut to the Pepsi spot and come back for Beyonce’s rendition of some crap in French. Really people, what is the world coming to.
Also I was upset by the following:
- Mike Meyer’s douchey Keanu-esque cut and dye job
- Oprah falling all over the place talking about her “friends” when she really means “all the black people” in attendance.
- Hillary Swank’s weirdo face and her playing the “Look I’m homely” now wait, “Look I have crazy big tits” when Oscar time comes around.
- P Diddy, Vivica A Fox, Jay Z, Christina Aquliera and other non movie related attendees from the hip hop world. Go home. You have a show. It’s called the Grammys.
- Natalie Portman
- No sight of Benecio Del Toro
- Penalope Cruz and Salma Hyek announcing together in their fucked up Spanish and Mexican accents. PS Penalope - loose the beehive
Boring Blogs - Everyone has a blog these days. I am all for voicing one’s opinions on the interweb, but if you are going to be posting shit for all the world to see, god damn it make it fucking funny. Or make it clever at the very least. I don’t have hours and hours to waste reading bullshit so either get with the funny or stop posting.
People Who Call For No Reason - I love the phone. But I hate the phone. The phone rings and rings and rings and it won’t stop unless you pick it up or you pretend it’s not ringing and then it will stop. It’s really aggravating when people call you for no reason at all. Like say, they are in traffic or in the waiting room at the doctor’s office or at the bus stop and they just want someone to entertain them while they wait. I hate that. I mean sure call me if you want to say hi or ask me a question or tell me that I am rad. But don’t call me and expect me to entertain you while you are waiting for something. Also don’t call during the day. I work dammit!
Player of the week:
I had a difficult time choosing a player this week. So I am choosing to omit it this week. I reserve the right to post one later in the week.
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