Hater Tuesday » Blog Archive

Prank Calls

Paris HIlton…Tmobile hacked, blah, blah, blah, Lesbian photos, blah, blah, still skanky - see below, blah, blah….here’s the phone numbers, blah, blah….More importantly here are the calls I’d love to make and the messages I would leave. MAYBE I WILL????

Durst, Fred 1-310-948-0808 — “Um Hi, yeah Fred? Who’s this? Oh don’t worry about that. I won’t take up too much of your time. I’m just calling to let you know you are a talentless tool. Also you dress bad. Also I hope you get herpes”

Fergie 1-323-855-9056 –” Four words…”eyebrow ring, lose it” …also can you sing me the theme to Kids Inc real quick? I need a new message for my voice mail. ”

Hooper, Nellee - 011-44-7768355555 — ” So do Tara’s breast look as scary in person as they do on film?”

Lavigne, Avril - 1-613-532-4092 —**Sung in classic R&B style hook a la ** “Giiiiirl, You are a Canaaaaaaadiaaaaaaan Midgettttt…..also does it make you feel wierd to know that Paris used to fuck your boyfriend?”

Lil John- 1-678-362-6742 —”WHAT?….WHAT?….OKAAAAAAAY, WHAAAAAT, YEAAAYAAAH”

Lohan, Lindsay -1-347-596-9990 —”Linday Lohan gots some big ass titties, mariah carey got some big ass titties, gimme those big ass titties dayum!”

Newson, San fran gavin — 415-722-9876 - Okay first and foremost what the fuck is Gavin Newsom the mayor of SF doing in Paris’ phone book? Second and equally important, is Gavin Newsom having a trampy affair with Paris Hilton? Lastly and most importantly, do you think there is Paris and Gavin tape floating around somewhere?

Olsen, Ashley 1-310-760-1996 — “Do you know where I can score an 8ball? Um and your grandma called and she wants all her clothes back”

Pharrel 1-646-824-1999 — “Can I drop it like it’s hot on your face?”

Simpson, Ashlee- 1-310-254-7114 –”On behalf of music lovers and those of us who work in the industry we would like to officially inform you that you are hereby officially the worst singer ever. Please stop. Also learn to dress yourself. And your nose is huge. And…Jessica is prettier and I find you boring. Thanks”

Wilson, Luke - 1-310-903-0500 — “Hi I’m a friend of Paris, she told me you would be able to put me in contact with your penis?”

Tara - 305790226 — “So I have a website called www.hatertuesday.com and I frequently post about you and your lifestyle…its been a little slow this week thus far so I was hoping to fly you up to SF and take you out for drinks so I can have something to write about tomorrow. Are you free?

Still skanky? —Here is my favorite note from her phone notebook - i like to think the “call maroon 5″ and “get birth control kill pill” are related. Also is it just me or do all of these seem whore related? I have numbered footnotes here for your entertainment.

7:39 PM, October 2, 2004
Paris hilton entertainment inc
Trace
760 602 0952 mike
*Tan machine free - *1
John hair
Call rosalina
917 6931673
*Call herve leger and lingerie store -*2
Site
*Check from rick- *3
*Call maroon 5- *4
*Get birth control kill pill*5

I assume this means a free tan machine or tanning without a machine and more of a lotion type thing, all whores are tan didn’t you know.
Have to stay skanky, which means lots of free lingerie and other slutty clothes from Herve Lager.
DVD video money baby, she didn’t suck Rick Solomon’s dick in the dark for nothin’
See #5
Hmm….kill pill…real classy Paris….real classy

This entry was posted on Monday, February 21st, 2005 at 10:48 am and is filed under It's Not Tuesday But I'll Hate If I Want To. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.

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