funkybitch | 
02 22nd, 2005| 
Unnecessary Hip Hop meets not Hip Hop Collabos - Tim McGraw and Nelly was weird enough now I have to sit through John Mayer and Kanye West? Puh-leeese. What’s next Jessica Simpson and Lil Jon?
Portland Let me preface this by saying I have a lot of friends who live in Portland. I know they love it and I know it makes them happy so I am not trying to directly hate on them for their personal choices. What I am hating on is the whole Portland scene. Everyone and their damned mommas is moving to Portland. If I had a dollar for every time I heard some asshole say the sentence, “OMG, I LOVE PORTLAND! IT’S SO AWESOME. THE ART COMMUNITY THERE IS JUST AMAZING AND THEY HAVE SUCH A COOL MUSIC SCENE AND OMG IT’S SOOOO CHEAP!” I would be a fucking millionaire. Get over it people. Portland is just another sleepy town about to be overrun with indie rock art hippies who need somewhere new to feel awesome about themselves. I’ve been there and I was not that impressed. I don’t care how fucking cheap it is.
Drunk Ooglers As a female, I have breasts. In my case, the breasts are on the larger side. I cannot help it. I do not go out of my way to flaunt them, but I do wear shirts that expose parts of them from time to time. I realize that while I am wearing a low cut shirt it is fairly difficult to avoid eye contact with them, but in no way does it make it okay for someone to peer directly at them or even worse stare into my shirt in hopes of getting a better view. Last weekend, I went to a bar I go to a lot to meet a friend for a drink. While waiting for him, I sat at the bar by myself and had a cocktail. Some tool who was standing behind me sidles up between me and the girl sitting next to me. He turns to her and attempts to “kick his game” to her. She obviously wasn’t feeling it because she got up and left. He then turns to me. I can feel him lean closer and start staring at me, so I do not turn to look at him. When I do not turn to face him he stops his lean in and instead stands up a bit so that he can look over my shoulder and into my shirt. I caught him doing this out of the corner of my eye so I shot him the look of death and said, “Can I help you? with a stern rude tone in my voice. I caught this asshole totally looking in my shirt and he has the audacity to keep looking at my tits directly and then looks up to my face and says in a real sleezy voice. “How uuuuuu doin’” or something equally toolish. Men just because tits are present it doesn’t mean you need to address them directly. Yes enjoy them, admire them, but do not under any circumstance speak to them or stare at them or attempt to see more of them than we have made available. It’s not sexy. And will not lead to us blowing you.
Black Eyed Peas Clothing Line It’s no secret that I fucking hate the Black Eyed Peas. I don’t want to get it started, or retarded or know where the love is or anything associated with BEP. The latest from the craptastic Peas is going to be a clothing line designed by Will.I.Am, the lead rapper. Okay now aside from the annoying proliferation of celeb inspired clothing lines, I am appalled that someone would allow these assholes to dress other people. These fuckos can barely dress themselves. Don’t make me link back to the Grammies last year. Or to the other multiple posts where I have slaughtered Fergie and Co for their couture atrocities. Don’t believe me? Check out these fits….they don’t even fit!!!
Man I hope that shit tanks.
