Hater Tuesday

Hipster Dudes in Shorts & Hats  - If I see one more dude like this I’m going to start punching pregnant ladies in the belly until they promise to not raise anymore hipster DBs. On the real, why does every fucking hipster douche from here to NYC want to look like mutherfucking Huck Finn?

Birthday Sex – What the fuck kinda hook is, “Birthday sex…..lemmehitthatgspot…..birthday sex …..lemmehitthatgspot…..birthday sex..”? Not to be a craggy old lady but, what the fuck ever happened to using a good metaphor? It’s like they don’t even teach that shit anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I listen to HELLA dirty rap…but that’s rap. It’s hard (unless you listen to some softhands bullshit or are still fucking with that conscious shit – loosen up your backpack son!), it’s abrasive, than language works in that capacity. R&B is supposed to be smooth…it’s all about setting the stage for sexy times without being overtly sexy. R&B should be the equivalent of giving someone the fuck me eyes  from across the room. Shit is alluring, shit is smooth, shit is magic. Luther, Barry, Marvin all killed the game by simply implying a good dicking. Mutherfuckers didn’t need to be spelling that shit out.  The just lived it. These young cats need to step back and soak up game. Mr. Obvious is not a good look. Somone holler at Pretty Ricky too. Dick flapping shit ain’t cute Young cats get learned -Bitches swoon on Marvin Gaye

Beyoncé - Enough with the leotards, hip jerking, hair flipping and the dramatic black and white. Shit is getting old. You are playing yourself out faster than Hype’s fisheye lens. New concept needed. PS. A diva is NOT a female version of a hustler.

Genre blending - I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I don’t like my rap with my rock or my reggae with my rap or my metal with my rap or anything with my rap. I like rap with my rap. I like metal with my metal and I fucking hate reggae so whatever with that church. This fuckery here drives me to insanity. WTF 40? Seriously, WTF!

Player of the Week(s): Berkeley Hippies.

Seriously. Who else would try and turn a CRX into a fucking mobile home? You know this mutherfucker doesn’t live in SF. Where the fuck would you park this piece of shit without it getting broke into and turned into a bum motel or tagged to shit by the Lords crew?

As Patton Oswalt said, “As of today, California is less progressive than Iowa. Fucking Iowa. Good job, right-wing Christian dipshits.” I really couldn’t have said it better myself.

Today all of my hate will be pointed directly at the right-wing Christian dipshits who can’t grasp the concept of Equality. I’m not a huge fan of violence but on the real fucking some shit up today might make a difference.

http://sfappeal.com/news/2009/05/updates-from-civic-center-prop-8-decision-wait.php

Hater Tuesday is back. The site has been dormant for months but now it’s on and fittin’ to pop off. Funkybiznatch is preparing lots of fresh hate. I’ll be back with your regularly scheduled weekly hate each and every Tuesday starting next week with a special travel edition: Funkybitch Takes Manhattan.

I’m having some renovations done here so please be patient with me and my bros in technology as we get this shit worked out. Big shots out to Club Thrill A Minute for helping to bring this baby back to life. Seriously, couldn’t do it without you guys.

Just a heads up, you will probably need to re-register. We lost our email list/directory. You probably don’t even remember your pass word so who cares.

Until next week -

Funkybitch.

P.S. Check out this sweet blog - http://shhhimresting.blogspot.com/